


Forever Now

by ashes_at_midnight



Series: Love is Never Wise [38]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-05
Updated: 2014-11-05
Packaged: 2018-02-24 05:25:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2569763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashes_at_midnight/pseuds/ashes_at_midnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joyce's POV in Forever</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forever Now

Forever Now

 

A bright light surrounds me, blinding and warming me at the same time. It was a nice feeling, no pain, nothing but a sense of peace. It was quiet strange really.

Peace. Who would have thought it would be so… unnatural?

The light dimmed to a more natural glow and I found myself in the middle of my kitchen. Everything was sparkling, the dishes put away in the cupboards, the benches spotless, the floor free of dirt and biscuit crumbs.

Wait. That wasn't right! Where was the mess?

It was _too_ quiet.

I couldn't hear the pop music blasting from Dawn's room, or the sound of Buffy chatting on the phone. The police sirens were silent, the kettle still. I looked around my house, the midday sun streaming happily through the windows. It was empty, not a single sign of life. I looked down at my body and saw the kitchen tiles through my bare toes.

Huh? Oh.

 _A sharp pain pierces my skull._ I frowned as I raised a hand to the back of my head and rubbed it absently. Was this death? If so it had a lot to answer for. It wasn't grand at all.

No, just lonely.

I look around the kitchen slowly and sign. I might as well try to find my girl's; they should be around here somewhere. I nod to myself and walk out of the kitchen and start to wander silently through the house. I notice the dying flowers by the door, and the stack of mail on the desk. I frown again and turn around. I look at the door, with a small shrug I twist the handle and step outside.

The streets were surprisingly silent, no birds, no cars. The sun warmed my back and I found myself liking the feeling. It wasn't hot; it wasn't cold. It was just right.

For some unknown reason I started heading towards the hills, where a few of the cemeteries were located. I know I should really make more of an effort to remember the places Buffy hangs around, but it's just so hard you know. She's always keeping up with the trends, one week it's Restfield, the next its Sunnyhill…

I pass under the ornately carved metal gate. _Sunnyside_

That's a nice name.

By the time I find Buffy the sun is almost setting. It took me a long time to get here; I know that. But I wasn't in any rush, I was dead, I know that now. It's the living that need to concern themselves with time.

I have all the time in the world now.

There she was, my little golden child. My first and only. My Slayer. She was standing beside a tombstone and a pile of freshly turned earth. My grave, I realised as I stepped up beside her and looked down to read the tombstone inscription.

A shadow falls over us, blocking out the moon. I gasp and take a step back, my form fading in and out in fright. Buffy doesn't move. The corner of her mouth twitches with a ghost of a smile.

"I would have been here sooner.." the deep voice comes from my daughters other side and I peek around her slight frame to look at the tall vampire beside her. Angel. I frown as he continues to speak "…But, well… the sun"

Buffy nods silently and moves her palm. Angel places his hand in hers and waits looking down at my grave. A single tear trails down his cheek.

I don't know how long they stand like that. Buffy is silent and shaking slightly, Angel is as cold and still as stone. Only his eyes are alive as he watches my daughter, the pain and longing apparent in his dark gaze.

Buffy shifts, tugging on Angel's palm she turns them and leads the tall vampire away from my grave and up a small rise. She sits down at the base of an ancient tree. Angel lowers himself down beside her, wrapping his arms around her small shoulders and bringing her into a comforting hug, her head resting on his shoulder.

"I'm glad you came," she murmurs then, the grief and pain making her voice barely more then a croak. They are the first words I've heard her speak since I've been standing here watching her.

Angel rubs her shoulders absently "I couldn't let you deal with this alone Buffy. I know I haven't been here but that doesn't mean I don't care" his voice is rough with sadness and I frown in confusion.

I didn't realise he still cared.

He raises his hand and pushes a strand of hair back behind her ear, his fingertips lingering on the side of her neck. The gesture is so full of love and devotion that I suddenly find myself blinking away tears.

Who knew that ghosts could cry?

My daughter, my stubborn, strong little girl looks up into the vampire's eyes and smiles sadly. "I know" she whispers. She turns her head, her gaze sweeping the area. They pass right through me as she wriggles, leans back and snuggles further into Angel's embrace.

I see the brief flash of surprise on his face before he blinks and the look is gone, replaced by one of contentment. He smiles softly, leans forward, enclosing his arms around her waist and leaning his chin on the top of her hair.

Buffy's eyes close and she takes a deep breath. They sit like that for a while, Vampire and Slayer content in each other's company. At that moment they are just like any other man or woman.

Lover and beloved.

Then Buffy starts talking. Her eyes still resolutely closed, her voice soft as she talks about me, and Dawn. I hear the fear in her voice growing as she explains about the 'Key' and someone called Glory.

I feel my own fear growing, my hands start to shake and I lower myself to the ground, my limbs suddenly weak. I watch my baby as she pours her heart out to the dead man sitting beside her. He listens to her pleas, letting her cry into his chest as he rocks her gently, all the while whispering soothing words into her ear.

When she finishes he takes a deep breath and starts to tell his own story. I had never heard him talk so much before, his voice is almost hypnotic and I find myself unable to look away. Buffy listens to all the bad things that have been happening in his life. The pain and quilt in his voice is palpable and I find myself close to tears again.

This was the man my daughter was so in love with. The man sitting right here, his arms around her shoulders, not that _thing_ that had said all those horrible things to me.

For the first time I saw the vampire through eyes that were clear of prejudice and fear. My daughter loved this man. I found myself warming to him, a small smile playing across my features as I watched them. It was so obvious that he cared for her immensely.

While I had been musing Angel and Buffy both sighed regretfully and slowly got to their feet. He took a step towards her, moving closed and looking down into her eyes, trying to gage her reaction as he slipped and arm around her waist, pulled her close as he bent his head to kiss her. It was light and soft and Buffy responded immediately by wrapping her arms around her neck. I could tell Angel meant for the kiss to be quick and chaste because he tried to pull away after a second or two.

But Buffy's arms tightened and she refused to let him go, standing on her tiptoes she deepened the kiss, giving her heart and soul to this little action. Angel moaned softly, his eyes closing and the grip around her waist tightened.

The depth and love that pored out of them in that one gesture was enough to make me gasp. My eyes widened and I glanced away.

A second later I heard Buffy gasp as she took a deep breath and Angel groan softly again. I heard a shuffle and he stepped back, his eyes wide, his breathing erratic.

"Sorry" she muttered softly.

He shakes her head "No…I shouldn't have…I shouldn't have kissed you" he whispers. I see the pain flash across her face and Angel suddenly winces as he realised how his words could be taken. "I should have realised that I wouldn't have been able to stop" he murmurs sadly.

Buffy nods and turns her head, fighting back the tears. "Why is it all so hard?" she whispers "Sometimes I think it would be easier if I didn't love you" he voice his hard and angry but her eyes show the pain she feels.

Under the tree Angel simply shrugs him wide shoulders, un offended and just as miserable as Buffy "If it was easy, do you think we would crave it so much?" he asks her softly. "So many people fail to experience this Buffy. It hurts, but I wouldn't have it any other way"

She looks away again her eyes turning and looking down at my tombstone "I guess your right" she whispers.

A sudden gust of wind causes Buffy's hair to flutter in the breeze as Angel's coat swirls around his legs. He walks up to her and takes her hand again. As one they turn away again, walking down the grassy hill and down the path towards the entrance of the cemetery.

I don't know how long I waited there on that hill. Letting the breeze ruffle my hair, catching the hem of my dress and rusting it around my legs. Finally the sky started to lighten, the first golden rays hitting my face. I turned my head towards the light and closed my eyes.

I could go now.

My girl was not ok, but one day she would be. At this moment that was enough. She had a man who loved her; She had a man devoted to her. He was a vampire, but that didn't change how much she loved him. I knew he would go to the ends of the earth to keep her safe. He would kill for her; he would die for her.

I could live with that.

 

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Wowzee, I don't actually have much to say about this one. I'm not really into beyond-the-grave fics, totally not my style….but, well I wanted to do something from Buffy's mums perspective. And this particular scene seemed like a good option. ( it was either this or that scene in 'The Prom' and I've already done that!)
> 
> Title comes from the song 'Forever Now' by Cold Chisel. Check it out on YouTube if you're curious!


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